Health & Fitness
28 Days of Yoga... A Humorous 'Twist'
My 38th Birthday and Day of Reckoning In a funk of Christmas, New Year and Birthday overload of bleu cheese stuffed martinis, extra salty and faux buttery snack mix that make your hands swell over your jewelry, topped with more butter, sugar and chocolate... I make a really smart, or dumb, decision to take the next 28 days and do the following every day: Yoga, coconut pulling (I’ll get to that) and eat more fruits and vegetables (with a Beano shooter). I can’t wait to start tomorrow. I have a brand new shiny red Jade yoga mat. This is going to be great... just what my body needs. Mentally Preparing Out with the old...... in with the new.
I don’t have my coconut oil yet. Seems more appropriate to start on a Monday. See video on oil pulling. Oil Pulling product commercial. Day 1 Wake up. Do not brush teeth, don’t drink, don’t eat. Explain to children mommy will be a mime for 20 minutes. Time to oil pull. Here’s the low down on the coconut oil pulling : It was introduced to me by my very cool and hip neighbor Molly. My take on it: #1 It sounded crazy and like nothing I’ve ever heard of #2 She mentioned Dr. Oz and Deepak and ‘miracle swirl’. Done. I’m game. I was intrigued. Upon further research I find out the benefits alone (whiter teeth, allergies, weight loss, muscle joints) aren’t worth not trying it. This ancient Ayurvedic method apparently pulls toxins, allergens, germs, etc. out of your body and resets your tongue that is mapped by organ locations whereby.... Oh, I’m lost, it’s suppose to be great for entire body. Molly is hard core. She scoops the white solid form of coconut oil and lets it dissolve in her mouth, then starts swishing. I think this would be a lot easier if I warm it, put it in a shot glass, close my eyes and think ‘almond joy’. Ahhh, much better. Done. I am now a swisher, a puller, a coconut, whatever.
Around 4:30 pm I hit my 1st of 28 days of yoga... a hot powerful flow at Inner Bliss Yoga Studio with Laura. After almost 2 years of practicing yoga, this is a studio I have come to love filled with teachers that are all amazing, challenging and kind in their own unique styles. Day 1 and I’m already wondering... why am I doing this? I don’t really know. In this case my mind is catching up with body, which apparently has a mind of it’s own. What I want out of this is: #1 a more profound appreciation for yoga mentally and physically #2 strength and flexibility #3 whiter teeth (from oil pulling) and #4 bonus a little lighter on the scale. I’ve always been of the mind set you lose weight first and then hit yoga to tone and lengthen. Ha! I’ve done ballet most of my early life and taught spinning for the past 14 years. Throw some running in there with water and snow skiing and hands down yoga is the hardest and most gratifying thing I’ve ever done. My mom, who can chant on a mountaintop in a dirt yurt until the cows come home has been praying I’d ‘find yoga’. My sister Molly (not my neighbor Molly) does not share our enthusiasm and at times I’ve seen her physically gag when we talk about yoga. I took Molly to a class on Christmas Eve afternoon and it was challenging indeed. I have taken a lot of yoga classes and never have I (we) been put next to someone uhh, let’s just say, loud in all orifices. Of course it would be the one time Molly comes. We were unbelievably and uncharacteristically quiet until both car doors were shut. Molly had a vodka martini in her hand within seconds of being home. Loving Laura’s kick start class, she has a great lulling voice, however the swan dive forward creates a swirl of the past couple of weeks’ indulgences. Hands are puffy due to salt, alcohol and sugar holiday diet but conveniently creating a bigger support for crow position. Joints are tight and stiff and feel like both heels should buy a one-way ticket to my yoga mat. What have I just promised myself?
DAY 2
Coconut oil pulling going great. Husband loving that for 20 minutes I can’t talk. He is taking advantage of it.
Yoga for the day: Ahhhh, my favorite hot powerful flow late night class with Robert from 8:30pm to 9:45pm. This is by far the hardest of all his classes I’ve taken. He is absolutely inspiring and apparently really loving triangles tonight! He read my mind as I am happy to have a little trikonasana tea party. Often I want to just sink down in child’s pose and watch him, maybe even sneak in a glass of wine. Getting ‘side’ tracked. A great practice. He always transports me to another world. Super. Feel connected and strong tonight and think I might actually be able to do this thing.
DAY 3
Today’s yoga:
Warm powerful flow with Lani. Beautiful straight forward class. I actually did a half moon into a dancer and at one point I could have sworn I couldn’t see my foot in a standing split. A nice mix of smooth simple with challenging uncomfortable. The frog pose... yikes! It’s all good... obviously my body really needed it.
The ability to think happy thoughts and create oceanic wavelike breathing for 10 whole breaths was difficult. Coming out of it was a happy moment.
DAY 4
Coconut oil pulling day 4 and not so bad, actually like the smell and taste. The almond joy candy bar image is really helpful, plus lips soak up a lot of the oil that gets swished around and it makes for a nice lip balm. Quite nice for our beautiful negative degree with wind shield Cleveland weather.
Same beautiful rhythm with Lani for my 9:15 am powerful flow. 3 rounds of wheel that were held longer than I’ve ever held them, hooray! Headstands are getting stronger. I feel my core gaining strength and feeling more solid. I also feel during the day, eating, breathing, typing, talking, swishing, I am cognizant of my exhalation, really exhaling as my belly button goes back. Thought I would be sore today but the opposite. Feel bendy. I was able to go right into a downward dog... and one that I can usually only achieve towards the end of a class.
DAY 5 - Cruella Deville
Did I mention we are renovating our house on top of this fun 28 day challenge? There is no better time than the present! Whatever, my new favorite word, let’s just getterdone, my 2nd favorite word. I proceed to prime and paint most of the day. Get to yoga and have a wonderful class. Smooth and challenging but not overwhelming. Starting to feel a little sore but the thing is, I don’t know where? Maybe just over all?
Anyway, finally achieve a headstand in the middle of the room with no help from the wall. I was doing this a year ago until I fell over and tweaked my neck. Not embarrassing at all just frustrating. Feeling stronger and love that the headstand was about 20 minutes into class. After class I hit the ladies room upon noticing there is a stripe of white primer down the middle of my head. Loving my new ‘whatever’ attitude but chuckle getting a mental image of Cruella Deville in a downward dog.
DAY 6 - More Oil Pulling
Woke up to coconut pulling all the red wine tannins out of my mouth! Alcohol, by the way, is on limits for this fun challenge. A big mug’o decaf coffee with soy and back up and running.
Yoga today is an afternoon powerful flow. Not a warm or hot class so I will not be slipping and sliding as usual. Kathy is super fun. You will always walk away with something you’ve never tried before or a position you love and haven’t done for a while. Wait a second, I think I might be rolling over my toes from up dog to down dog. I try to look through my dog to confirm. Sure enough my size 9 ½ feet are flipping over like a page in a book. She suggested I move my hand placement up which was very helpful in lifting my up dog even more and pulling my shoulders back behind. I loved that part but the down dog with the greater length had, once again, my heels lost in route to my mat. I’ll work on it!
DAY 7
10:00 am Sunday morning yoga, my new worship.
This might be my first Follow the Yogi class whereby the yoga instructor practices with you. Loved. It was very instructional and straight forward and as I am 99% musically motivated, the music was great! Feeling tighter than the rest of the week even with the room packed and it being 90 degrees. I feel like my body is in ‘Woooh Nelly’ mode but mentally I want to ‘plow’ through.
Coconut oil pulling going fabulous. I’d like to think my teeth are whiter and my joints are more forgiving than a week ago. Yes, of course they are. 1 week in and 3 more to go!!!
DAY 8 - Barking Dog!
Forecast: Blizzard, Temperature: Antarctic. Wake up. Wish Will (my husband) a happy birthday and decide to give him part of his present early by beginning my pulling.
I see a bag of chocolate chips and think that’s what my almond joy swirl shot is missing. Find the strength and decline. Drag old carpet out to curb in blizzard along with trash whilst swishing. Scrape paint from nails. Get to hot powerful flow with Lani. Ahhh, so nice to be in warm peaceful place and beyond happy I remembered to take yoga mat out of car. Recently I spilled tea on it and it froze on the mat, nice. Embrace the notion that this is where I am suppose to be. However, muscles feeling heavy. Arms a little sore from painting furniture and trim.
Downward dog is barking. Trying to turn my chatuwronga into a beautiful chaturightga. I hear the softly spoken words ‘find compassion for yourself’ and bam a great song comes on. I remember teaching spinning... a good deep breath, taking advantage of your recovery time and a great song can change everything! I can feel my breath deepen and my transition from pose to pose starts to become fluid. Extended and greatly needed pigeon pose had me loving my barking dog!
DAY 9
All level’s with Lani... Hallelujah.
The support in and of itself has been overwhelming. At the beginning of class in child’s pose Lani must of read my mind as I thanked my husband, my mom, my sister, my children, family and friends who in the same breath of saying ‘You’re doing what?’ finish with ‘Good for you, you are crazy’.
Pulled back a little today to get back to some basics. Trying to use up the entire yoga mat a little more as suggested. I notice in doing so white dots of primer that fell on my painted, and badly manicured, red toes. Upon further discovery in an extended downward dog I am disgusted by my ridiculously dry and flaky hair, feet and hands. I am wondering in my ‘dog’ when my coconut oil pulling will give me a nice shiny coat.
Read about Dr. Oz’s tips for the New Year and pull the red pepper and cinnamon (to reduce cravings) from the spice rack and bring them front and center on the island in the kitchen. Trying to get more sleep, as I am a huge night owl. My body clearly needs it. Upped my water intake yesterday and was astonished. Full all day. Water of all things is my hardest battle? What’s up with that? Hot powerful flow, I’m in. Coconut oil pulling for 20 minutes, I’m in. Drink water, ehhhh.
DAY 10
I wake up loving that I am doing this. Sun is shining and snow is melting. No scraping or brushing or snow plowing this morning, Hooray! However, see I left my yoga mat in car.
Off to Hot Yoga for All Levels... with Kyle. How cute is Kyle! She is a little fire ball of energy and effervescent to say the least. I thoroughly enjoyed her rhythm and loved that my poses this morning were feeling, uhhh what’s the word here, squishy. But squishy in a good way.
Finally felt victorious in a hero’s pose and able to pull all the way back. Realizing back of the head should touch the mat vs the top of the head in fish brought me to a whole new place. ‘You yourself are the being you are seeking’ were the words spoken this morning. A gorgeous rendition of ‘Lovely Day’ comes on and life made sense. Kyle exudes a sweet and strong spirit and it transcends throughout the class. Bonus, I’m pretty sure I didn’t look at my pedicure this morning.
DAY 11 - Gas Crisis
A little math anyone?
Vegetable, fruit and fiber overload + body muscle organ twisting turning and stretching in serene peaceful quiet space = operation shut down flatulence. According to Dr. Oz people ‘pass gas’ (no matter how old you are, don’t the words still make you giggle?) 14 times a day. My quota the past couple of days undoubtedly surpasses that number. Let it be known, if it hasn’t come across by now, it is very hard for me to get embarrassed. I have yet to add any unwanted percussion or aroma to the yoga room but scanning my body this morning has me thinking an afternoon class would be in my best interest and my fellow yogi’s best interests.
Furthermore, when reaching for my chamomile tea (have huge draw of teas) to watch American Idol with family, I mistakenly drink a ‘smooth move’ tea left over from insane ultimate cleanse (more on that later, thanks Gretchen). Lovely morning. Beth texts me to hit Tammy’s hot powerful flow at 6:00 pm. Perfect! Pray ‘goddess, happy baby and hold for 10 breaths’ are off the radar for class.
In preparation for my ski trip this weekend (closest yoga studio is an hour away) and per Kyle’s suggestion I upload 10 Baptiste and Dave Farmar powerful vinyasa classes, for Free, are you kidding me? Awesome. Fully charged ipod, red yoga mat, room to myself = no audience and no Warren Miller or Wii disruption.
Break in morning from painting and working on launching a new site for my small business, with my fellow yogis who park their mat next to me in mind, I attack my crow’s feet. 2 hours later, feet are prime and dry skin free. Day getting better and better... Sarah drops off birthday present, a tee with ‘I Love Yoga’ on it. I am So wearing that tonight. Fall over in side plank, can’t seem to look up in half moon tonight however plow finally felt liberating whereby I could actually take deep breaths and toes loving the floor. Great crowd, great heat, great energy, great music, great teacher = beautiful class.
DAY 12
Day 12 Yoga is hot powerful flow with Dawn at 9:15am. Came in restless and very stiff. I am now at the turning point where my mind is my body’s biggest cheerleader. My body, however, wants be benched by the coach. Even gorilla has me wanting to catch the next game.
After 5 minutes of soaking into the practice and trying to let go and be what my body needs to be, on mat not on stretcher, this morning’s practice has me slowing down and easing into poses with purpose and clarity. Dawn assisting me several times on a broader and deeper warrior II felt great, hips rotated forward and a deeper bend in the front leg with, wait, I think it’s, could it be, a smile on face.
Crow tripod crow is actually one of my favorite things to do. Go right into it. No need or ability to ‘embellish’ whilst upside down. Manage to lift my flexed feet, tightening my core and hold for 3 solid breaths, roll back into crow and sigh. Side plank, into side tree, lifting hips, turn into full plank with tree and lower down in plank... uhh somebody pump the breaks here. Pull back to child’s pose and regroup.
Leave class grateful and appreciative for what my body and mind brought to the mat today. I am starving when I get home.
Following Dr. Oz’s rule of being consistent in what you eat daily... I know good and well my morning ritual of WASA (aka I WantASkinnyArse) cracker, organic peanut butter, banana with cinnamon and decaf coffee with soy (sometimes agave) isn’t going to cut it. Will is making jambalaya for ski trip. 6 years living in New Orleans means cannot resist. Have small bowl with club soda, no mint julep, for breakfast. 6 pounds lost as of today... les bon temps roule! Upload Baptiste and Fromar who are coming with me on ski trip.
DAY 13 - Bite Me!
Wake up at 10am in Rocky River. Wait, shouldn’t we be at our friends’ ski lodge? Rewind to yesterday afternoon: Pick up car with new snow tires, pack bags, skis, jambalaya, fruit, wine, Baptiste, Fromar and yoga mat.
Will and I pick up Phoebe at school. Pick up Henry but not in class. He’s in nurses’ office. Lice running rampant at school (as noted by multiple notices this week) the little buggers got Henry. All pile back in car, I call pediatrician, text my friends with a pit in my stomach and go to pharmacy. Find fun removal kit for Henry and decide, why should he have all the fun, let’s all have one shall we, just to be on the safe side. Go home, within minutes, hair brushes in boiling water on stove, pillows and blankets in garbage bag thrown on patio outside, start laundry on scorching hot setting and Will starts buzzing Henry’s long locks like it’s his first day of boot camp.
Afternoon update: Will buzzed (and the other kind of buzzed), Henry buzzed, Phoebe super short bob, me needing a hair appointment stat and to be the other kind of buzzed. I can’t take the fact I might have it so pull my hair up in pony tail and cut 10 inches off. I have a mullet. I do not cry. It’s just hair. Will helps ‘even’ it out. I read online that the buggers don’t like oil and don’t like coconut shampoo (who has that?). You see where I’m going... Phoebe, Henry and I have warm coconut oil all over our head, me inside and out as I am swishing. We look like grease balls.
Take kids to see Chipmunks movie, yes with oil still in. Thank heaven I don’t see anyone I know. Kid behind me kicking chair. I begin my deep breathing and fuddle my way through with a smile. Return home. We go out to eat at Nuevo Acapulco. My oil is still in. Drink a massive margarita. Back home. Phoebe creates yoga program for me on Wii Fit Plus. I complete the program (worked up a little heat but ridiculously lengthy in explanation of every pose) tipsy which helped given my day and that my ‘trainer’ just told me my Wii fit age is 55. Bite me.
Day 14 - Over the Mountain
Open eyes. I am Sister Maria singing ‘The Hills are Alive’. Kids are bug free. I coconut oil swirl. Drink chai black tea. My hair cut, let’s not discuss.
Excited for Tammy’s Sunday worship of Follow the Yogi at 10:00 am. Laying on mat before it begins in a fog of 90 degrees and tears are surfacing. Could it be the weekend of forced family fun, could it be the devastating Haiti earthquake, could it be my hair, could it be shear joy from being halfway done, could it be I don’t want to be done, could it be my kids being such troopers? I don’t have to guess I know it’s all of the above.
Rocky start as class begins. Salt from margarita last night is to blame for joints crackling. Tequila is to blame for lack of balance. Fruit and vegetable intake not so good yesterday.
Took a good 10-15minutes to find my oceanic breathing and get muscles engaged. I love the instructional flow of the class. While in ardha chandrasana, a half moon position, Tammy says now bring in your knee as you inhale and grab your foot and extend back out rotating your ribs to the sky. What did she just say, that’s fantastic! The tiny detail of bringing your foot in to grab.... glorious! I had always been reaching back, stretching, twisting uncomfortably to grab my foot. I feel graceful and pretty in my pose even though hair resembles Liza Minnelli’s on a bad day. Warm inviting energy in the room this morning and I don’t know if it’s just because I look like I need it but feel like everyone in class is sending out a hug.
Go home to happy family and bonus smell of 409 with bleach. Will takes kids to the Chalet to go tobogganing. Freezing cold outside.I build fire, burn an ocean song incense and hunker down for 3 words: football, golden globes.
DAY 15 - Going Native
5:45 pm Warm Powerful Flow with Tammy.
Molly, if you are reading this, skip to the next day so you don’t gag. This might get yoga-ie. Mom, keep reading. This might be the best practice I’ve ever had.
I feel better than ever. Mind is clear and centered. Body is in tune with my mind, and vice versa, and I am so happy to be in this moment, with these souls and in this room. Truly, present. If there is going to be a pivotal moment in this challenge, I think it happened tonight. The words ‘don’t worry about what happened 20 years ago. Don’t worry about what happened 5 minutes ago. Don’t worry about tomorrow. Be here in this moment’ take hold of me. My middle name really should be ‘Tangent’ as I am a complete wanderer.
Often in yoga thinking: Who came in late? Was I in this spot last time? What is the name of that perfume she is wearing? Do I have apple stuck in my teeth. I really should floss more. I love how the shadow makes my body look like an hour glass on the mat, like Betty Boop. Woops, these yoga pants are low. I hope my crack isn’t showing. I wonder if the train is going to pass by. I love that sound. I wonder if Henry will ever play with his Thomas trains again? Yup, there it is. A little glimpse inside, if you will!
Yoga I know is to thank for remembering to just breath. Just focus. Just settle. ‘Be at ease in your own skin’ and ‘be playful’ are words I leave yoga with tonight along with a happy heart, a happy soul and a happy spirit.
8:15 pm emergency hair cut with Jessie (who knows me well and was not at all shocked I cut my hair off) at Details salon.
Day 16 - Granny Inspires
Just another Tuesday night excursion from Rocky River to various parts of the world in Robert’s class. And I said his last class was hard! Robert, if you’re reading this, did you have a double or triple espresso before class? If so, great, can I go with you next week? I’ll have what you’re having.
Inventory of tonight: Music: Phenomenal. Energy: Crazy Good. Mood: Adventurous. Rhythm: Liquid at times. Feeling: Triumphant and Overzealous. No worries at all that I’m falling over here, falling over there, not able to fully lift my hips in a side plank with upper body threading the needle, stub my toe a bit while attempting crow to plank... and all sorts of other shenanigans... but I am loving, and laughing a bit at, my attack tonight.
I’m like a caged animal. You’d think after more than 2 weeks of yoga I’d want to pull the reins in, pump the breaks, take a big long lazy cushy child’s pose.
Nope. I dedicated class tonight to my Granny. Today is her birthday. Today she had surgery. It was a success. I have to think that my spit fire of a Granny had something to do with tonight. She was a trickster in the rodeo (if you’re not from Texas and don’t know what that is... she did poses on and around the horse while the horse was galloping around the arena). She also had her pilot’s license. She was a bit of a daredevil back in the day... much more reserved today! So Granny, pistols flying, this one was for you.
DAY !7
Wake up like I’ve been spanked. Hips and shoulders really confused and angry at me. Strip beds. Start my first of 30 loads of laundry. Bug free still but making sure those unwanted guests know Dunn Hotel has no more vacancy. Kids look great. They take off to school.
Not a napper, I lay back down in bed exhausted. I wake up at noon! Go to Dawn’s 12:30pm class. So happy to see my friend Sarah. ‘Wow, you really did cut your hair!’ I take the next hour of Flow for All Levels to slow down a bit, give my body a breather, pop it into first and second gear, maybe even neutral. It works.
Warm and beautiful class and body liking the flow. Dadgum that revolve half moon gets me every time. Reaching back for the knee, however, in lunge position was effortless. Nice. Even the other hand gently grasps and looky there, my shoulders went back and heart went up and out. Sold. I’ll take it. Just enough for today!
DAY 18 - Craving Yoga
I know there were other people in Ginny’s powerful flow at 9:15 am this morning... but Ginny, thank you for the private lesson! We all felt like that!
Yoga 101, 201, 301 and 401 all nicely wrapped up into a beautiful and instructional hour and fifteen minutes. Ginny’s attention to detail is insurmountable. Her wanting you to be better, wanting you to find that extra lift, helping you achieve a better and safer line and form, throwing out options to play with, painting a picture in your mind that transcends into your poses, is just what makes Ginny so wonderful. My first class at Inner Bliss was a Beginner Yoga with Ginny. What a super beginning to something I will do for the rest of my life.
This morning my body is tired. Mind is not. I am craving yoga. I can already feel myself anticipating the end of the challenge. I don’t want it to end. Forearm stand... shall we? With block in front with palms down wrapped around it with conviction, I kick my legs up. Crush my nose into block. Ouch! I don’t think I was suppose to do that. Uhh, I need a do-over. Remove block, make forearms parallel and up I go. My first one! Yea! Shoulders good. Needs practice but feel great.
Plank to up dog correction was super helpful as I was tucking my chin down a bit vs going straight down, out and up. Huge adjustment with my elbows in wheel as they had been splaying outward. This correction will undoubtedly take some time to gain strength. Book club aka Girl’s Night Out tonight and I can’t wait for some red wine!
DAY 19 - Ultimate Cleanse: Mistake?
Coconut oil pulling still going great. Fruit and vegetable intake going splendidly. Must work on water intake. I sneak a little dark chocolate here and there along with a few salty sweet potato chips. But for the most part, finding a great rhythm and balance with choosing healthy organic foods on top of, and most importantly, being satisfied. This is good for me.
Once I tried the ultimate cleanse. Yup, I’m going there people! So Gretchen brings me the book. Born and raised in Texas, I love a good t-bone. According to the drastic measures of this cleanse, it will remove any and all foods that are difficult to digest (such as steak!) and are residing, and have been residing for quite some time, in your colon. That’s lovely.
Water, lemon, pure maple syrup, smooth move tea, salt and cayenne pepper are the only things on the menu. A salt water flush is optional. I take it. I shouldn’t have. I drink a half gallon of warm salty water. First dumb mistake was starting this cleanse. Second dumb mistake was taking Henry on a walk in order to allow the salt water flush to move through. That it did. I round the block and it’s like the bathroom scene from Dumb and Dumber. Explosion.
I take sweatshirt off wrap it around cargo pants and haul home. Neighbors we haven’t seen forever are all out and about playing, waving, walking over. Of course they are. Gretchen and I made it 2 full days and surrendered. Not to my dismay, as I thought it was hilarious, friends all knew about the ‘flush’. I see my friend Amy at the grocery store... her first words, ‘Hey, heard you took a shadooby on Morewood Parkway?’. The cleanse was not for me.
Body still playing catch up. Mind wanting more yoga. I hit Shannon’s Yoga Flow for All Levels at 12:30 pm. I heard great things about her and understandably, she was fantastic. Super cute and strong. There were several new yogis in the class. Vicariously, I am learning all over again with them while throwing in a bind here and an extra vinyasa there. Dusted off the ole eagle pose and took it out for a spin, can’t get those toes to creep around quite yet. I’ll work on it.
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DAY 20 - From A Pig In Slop to Cirque de Sole! Kathy’s hot powerful flow at 11:30 am. She checks in with me on journey. Happy to report it’s an ascent to heaven and not a descent to hell. Body, however, feels like a homemade noodle being squeezed through pasta maker. Mind on ‘yoga is my life’ bandwagon and body about to kick it off. Heart opener to begin. Used not 1, not 2 but 3 blankets. This feels great. Get a little heat going with some sun salutations. Wondering how many ‘salutes’ I have to do in order to get the sun to come out and stay out! She did not just say forearm stand! I’m in. I’m a pig in slop. Her demo is beyond effortless, like she just put her hair up in a ponytail. Good heavens. Now my turn. Back up people, this might not pretty. Pretty? It might not be safe. Nervous to kick up in the middle of the room, I opt to kick up towards the wall. Go right up. Scorpion? Shut the back door! Let’s getter done Dunn. I tuck my big feet in. Oh golly, am I scraping red polish down the wall? I share a few giggles, aka nervous laughter, with the brave lady next to me. I hold scorpion for a nano second. Within my glorious nano second I think Will would marry me all over again if he saw me in my Cirque de Sole pose. Next up, Eagle? Get out of here. I just dusted that off yesterday. Due to massive hip flexor release program, my foot (from what I can feel, can’t see as arms twisted in front of my face) wraps around the other. I am perched. I am a Snyder pretzel big winged bird about to take flight. In a deep lunge hands already in airplane, Kathy says don’t forget to get a deeper lunge in the back leg to propel forward aerodynamically and gracefully into airplane. Don’t forget? I’ve never done that. Like liquid y’all! Poured right into it. I love how Kathy, not only throws fun poses in a beautiful sequence, but also makes you think about the physics of the human body traveling from pose to pose. That’s just good stuff.
DAY 21 - The Awkward Phase
Home solo tonight. Will skiing with the kids at the Peak. Lazy morning. Deserve it. Even swishing seems exhausting.
Making my coffee leaded this morning to prepare for Kristen's hot powerful flow this afternoon. She is one of my favorites at Bliss and I've missed her classes. Her strength is astounding. Like bionic girl. It would not surprise me at all if as a baby she didn't crawl or walk first but instead went right into a front plank and then a side plank with leg lifted. You could full on have a 5 course meal on her back with wine and crystal included.
Music sometimes is a throw back to the 70s which is fun and refreshing. Gotta love those songs back in the day when you were (or was it just me?) incredibly awkward: stretching at the roller skating rink to try and win a giant pickle in limbo, putting wax in your braces so you can play your trumpet in band (alright, I'll give it to you...those two were just me), madly in love with someone who doesn't have a clue and simply, just trying to fit in.
Molly, jump to the next day. Who told the class this week... my classes are all swirling together.... 'You begin losing your balance at the age of 30'. Physically, I get. But not all the other 'ly' words. I have more balance in my life today than ever, probably because I don't fit in. Kristen said something along the lines of 'Bring into your life, into your mind, into your practice, into your heart, what services you, what makes you better.' What fits you.
Could that Firefly song be any more uplifting? Love that song. Corners of my mouth start curling up and I gaze around the room in gratitutde and relief that there is not a single soul in here that 'fits in' and I dig that.
DAY - 22 Hot Mic!
One more week to go and I don't want it to end!
Due to required beer drinking in order to sing karaoke at Herb's last night with lots of girlfriends, I opt for Lani's yoga flow for all levels at 12:30 pm. Karaoke last night was like being in a Christopher Guest film. River peeps, have you done this? Bizarro. My song choices: Islands in the Stream by Dolly and Kenny and Long Neck Bottle by Garth Brooks. Astonished and quite impressed with how low my voice could go in the Garth song. It's got to be all that 'ojai breathing'. 'Ojai what?' my friends ask? Never mind.
Wake up to see that I've texted and called a few friends (as was home alone and missing family) late night. That's great and typical. Head off to Bliss but can't get a good read on the ole bod. I feel goofy. Maybe I'm still tipsy? Maybe I'm getting more bendy?
Lani, unknowingly, plays my all time favorite song... Into the Mystic, thanks Lani! I go from goofy to engaged and sweaty. Beer starts seeping out my pores. Hoping Lani doesn't light a match to burn an incense. My eagle transition into half moon was crazy fluid. I can literally see inches of rotation I've gained in the last 3 weeks as I look up and open my shoulders with my heart to the sky.
Full pigeon was triumphant. In Warrior I , I am finally feeling the benefit of that pinky toe pushed down into the Earth and my thigh rotating out. Ugh, back bend. Wheely need to work on wheel. Will my arms ever be able to straighten? Shoulders pulling away and lifting up, where's my 'long neck'? Will I ever make it past 2 deep breaths? Shavasana, sweet shavasana.
DAY - 23 Easy Peasy
Scoop, warm, swish, swish, spit, rinse, brush teeth and repeat tomorrow.
Dawn's 10:45 am hot powerful flow is on the menu this morning after my coconut swishing and WASA breakfast.
Love how hot it is in here. 'How about we begin with a tall spine, sukhasana' for a fun little hors d'oeuvre? Oh man. Wait I have a better idea, how about we order a half pigeon or a crow, or even a cow with a side of cat!
Sitting pose is the worst. Which translates to: just what my body needs. It is by far the hardest pose for me in yoga. If you are laughing, I'm going to take a wild guess you don't own a yoga mat. I rock side to side and pull my flesh, meat, ham, bacon and eggs back from hips to locate and sit on my 'sits bones'. I lift my spine and try to create a 90 degree angle with my back and the floor. Shoulders pressing down, neck and top of the head lifting up, my right hip flexor begging for a 'get of jail card', my tailbone scooping down while my belly pulls in and up.
My upper body telling the lower body, this is my dance space, that is your dance space. I wait and wait and wait (it should be coming any second now) for my intensified state of serenity, tranquility and inner calm? Some people are so at peace in this pose that they meditate and sometimes drift off to sleep. What? Seriously? I want that feeling. I want to drift off. Using a blanket helps quite a bit but still, no stillness. I think a beanbag would be better. Or a personal and ergonomically precise chair. My justification is two words: Acute Angle. I lean forward a bit, do all of the above and I'm going with it.
Why are things in life that should be so easy, be so difficult? I ask Dawn after class why this is so hard for me. Relieved to hear her say it's not just me and it truly is one of the most challenging poses. And just like anything that's hard: you have to work at it, build on it and keep practicing.
Evening snapshot: with a glass of wine, candle lit, the Jacuzzi fixed, combo tranquil sea salts with Phoebe's bubble gum bubbles and oh yes, Delilah (aka Daaa Lieee Laaaa) playing in the background (clearly a last ditch desperate attempt at finding tranquility today) I relax, reflect and laugh... she did not just say she's giving her listeners a 'melodious massage'?
DAY - 24 Ms. Biddy Goes Shopping
Beautiful blanket of white snow. Sun is shining, due to influx of salutations.
Double duty on swishing as only have 10 minutes to get to Kyle's morning hot yoga for all levels. My friend Janna texts me and is going as well. Super. Kyle's spunky demeanor is infectious. Her affinity towards utkatasana, chair pose, kicks in early this morning and seems to linger a wee bit. Lower back a little sore but the sitting and twisting seem to be working it out. Toes on floor in plow like white on rice.
Sweet tunes playing which makes the revisit to chair pose bearable. Unknowingly there are 4 sequences of bridge and wheel coming my way.
Round 1: Bridge with hands, make that palms, squeezing together
Round 2: Wheel but just up to the top of my head
Round 3: Wheel. Again? Up I go. I guarantee I am the squeakiest wheel in the class. My ojai breathing is not pretty or remotely oceanic. I am pooped. Zonked
Round 4: Please let this me the last round. Regroup on mat. Hands and feet in proper placement. Head lifted up and off the mat
It feels good, like I'm an inch or two higher. Sold. Lovely class but super tired, a little sore and need my nameless grocery store salad bar fix. Today I am getting the wasabi peas.
I park and start walking in. A little old lady, who I will call Ms. Biddy, yells for me to help her off the bus. I do. She instantly hands me her bag to carry into the store, like a celebrity hands their assistant their luggage. Based on shape and weight of bag I am guessing she has a bowling ball and some canned goods inside.
Ms. Biddy tells me she is 'old, 88 and needs help.' I have done a lot of heart openers and I am happy to help. My heart is big and full. Take a deep inhale and lift her bag up and into a cart. Wipe it down for her and she's off... op, nope, not yet. Ms. Biddy asks me if I am in the medical field. No, I tell her. Ms. Biddy, not absorbing my answer, begins firing questions: 'What should I do about my sodium intake? I think I eat too much salt. Wow, you have beautiful skin, honey, what do you put on your face? Did you buy it here? How many apples should you eat in a day? Wooo, was not prepared for all these questions, and not sure how to answer them all. My answer to a lot of questions or predicaments is typically 2 forms of liquid: Water or Alcohol. Ms. Biddy, you need water... let's go get you some water. I take her to the water aisle and we pick out some bottle water and raspberry La Croix. She is excited about the La Croix. I make sure she's ok and send her on her way. Off she goes... op, nope, not yet. She yells back for me about my skin. I hate to state the obvious that I am 50 years younger so I kindly suggest the Burt's Bees carrot facial cream. 'Honey, you need to come with me and show me.' Of course I do, I mean, of course I will. Burt's Bees in the cart and truly, away she goes.
Ten minutes later big green salad with wasabi peas, raw almonds and People magazine in hand I go to check out. I tell the checker about Ms. Biddy. Just so they know she might need a little help. Oh, we know A L L about Ms. Biddy, so does the RRPD! I glance over and there's Ms. Biddy 'talking' to another nice young lady. But this time she isn't so sweet, she is Mean Ms. Biddy. Bless her heart. I see some clementines close to the check out and buy them. I tell the checker to please give these to Ms. Biddy when she checks out. The checker's eyebrows both raise at the same time. Just please give them to her... I think she needs a little lovin, a little pick me up. Upon writing this, it never dawned on me to check to see if Ms. Biddy had teeth?
DAY - 25 Stoked For The Tomato
DAY 28 - Hero Pose!
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