The Lush Mommy Blog

The other day I ordered a new daily planner. I chose a bright orange one thinking it was very hip and stylish. When the calendar arrived it had a wrapper with a little logo that read, “Mom Agenda.” I thought surely it’s just on the packaging. I ripped off the label and to my shock and horror the calendar is embossed with the words “Mom Agenda.” You’ve got to be kidding me? This is right up there with wearing Mom Jeans. You know, the jeans that come up to your waist and accentuate your fat roll and your butt. This calendar thing just sent me over the edge and I’m not sure why.

There’s nothing wrong with being a mom but I just don’t want to wear a label announcing it. It’s a part of me but there’s more to me than just being a mom.  I don’t need a damn sign telling the world I cook, clean, wipe butts and noses and don’t have much time to look good anymore. My goodness—you can see that written all over my face. So you see—there’s no reason to announce it to everyone when I whip out my new orange calendar.

I don’t like mini-vans, I don’t put my child’s school bumper sticker on my car, I don’t wear jewelry with my son’s name on it. I’m more of a silent mom-- one who quietly does my job and prays for the day when I can sleep again.

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I just had my 35-week check-up and discovered both my babies weigh about 6-pounds!

It seems impossible to me that I could even carry such a load. When women are pregnant with twins we hear more about the early arrivals. You never really hear much about the women who carry to term or very close to it.

I naively assumed that most twins are born early and tiny. Boy was I wrong! I actually have another two weeks before my induction-- but I’m really not sure I can make it. Then again—I’ve been saying that for weeks.

This week was a real turning point for my body. My back is going out and walking is extremely painful—I think I have a pinched-nerve or something. Regardless, it’s not going to go away anytime soon.  Other than that I’m fine—just tired.

I’ve had to have a stern talk with my husband about pitching in. He was in the kitchen the other day and noticed one of the cabinet handles was loose.  So he yelled upstairs, “Hey, one of these handles is loose.” I’m thinking to myself, “What the hell do you want me to do about it—grab a damn screw driver and fix it!” My husband is so used to me being handy-- he forgets I have 12-pounds of babies in my belly.

I think our little “talk” may have helped. This morning, although the handle is still loose, he’s taking our son to school. Oh joy!

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I hate to keep talking about my big belly but right now it's consuming me-- literally!

I feel like Poppin' Fresh. You know, that happy little Pillsbury Doughboy who giggles when you poke his stomach (I want to punch him). The only difference is, I don't giggle-- I'm more likely to cry.

Surprisingly my stomach is not that big, considering I'm carrying twins. However, my two little babies are crammed into such a small space they're really starting to threaten my sanilty. It's just unreal what is happening to my stomach. Their feet and legs continually poke out of my stomach like alien creatures-- it's actually kind of gross. The skin on my stomach is so tight it squeaks when you rub it!

I've realzed that the biggest difference between carrying twins and a single baby is the amount pressure your uterus has to endure. Not only that-- the babies can sit on your colon, your bladder or any other organ for that matter. Sometimes it's so hard to stand because you feel like they're going to fall out. Graphic I know, but seriously, it's not pleasant.

So what have I been doing to ease the pressure, the pain, the general fatigue? Nothing. Nothing at all. Everyday I do one errand, one bit of house work and then I get in bed-- guilt free. Although my house is crumbling around me as we speak-- I don't care. I'm too tired to care. I know this will be the last time for the next 18 or so years that I will have to rest. I know what's coming and it ain't gonna be pretty.

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Current Status: 35 Weeks Pregnant With Twins

This is really not the type of thing you discuss in “polite” company—but then again, nothing that happens to your body during pregnancy is very polite.

I’ve made it my mission to alert unsuspecting women about what really happens to their bodies when they get pregnant. In pregnancy books we often just get the medical explanation-- you don’t always get the real nitty gritty.

So here goes……

Pregnancy bladder is one of those things that happen to every pregnant woman—however the degree of severity ranges among women. Pregnancy bladder is basically what happens to your bladder as your baby grows. Baby gets bigger; bladder gets smaller—a lot smaller! During your third trimester the pressure from your growing baby is part of what causes the frequent need to pee. Early in pregnancy the frequent need to urinate is caused by the increase in fluids that your body is processing.

Now let’s say you’re having twins—just say goodbye to your bladder right now.  After midnight I’m up every single hour. I feel like a coo coo clock! But it’s not just the waking up at night thing that can drive you crazy. Laugh, you pee. Yell, you pee. Cough, you pee. Think too hard and I swear you’ll pee in your pants. If you’re not adequately prepared plan on a few puppy puddles.

I used to be embarrassed for those older people who had to go into the store and buy Depends diapers. Now I look at them and want to give them a fist pump and say, “I feel your pain.”

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Throughout my pregnancy I have planned to give birth to my twins vaginally. Assuming there are no other complications, I believe, as do many experts, that it’s the healthiest way to have a baby. But, I’ve discovered that many women and men view vaginal birth as archaic and unnecessary. So am I one of the last pioneers?

A friend recently asked me if my doctor was “seriously considering a vaginal birth?” He thought all women having twins automatically have c-sections. Not true. Vaginal birth with twins depends on the position of the babies, your health and the health of the babies.

Some women choose a c-section simply for convenience or the desire to avoid the after effects of vaginal birth. According to the American College of Obstetricians, the rate of c-sections has gone from 5.5% in 1970 to almost 32% in 2007. But if the rate of surgical births continues to rise, will evolution take over and ultimately change the way women are able to give birth? Sounds far-fetched, but the thought has crossed my mind.

There are plenty of reasons for the increase in c-sections, but more interesting are some of the not so talked about reasons. Consider this-- some doctors prefer to do c-sections not because they think it’s better for you, but it’s better for them. Some doctors get paid more to perform c-sections and it’s certainly easier on their hectic schedules. I believe these doctors are certainly in the minority. But there is also a legitimate concern of litigation. If something goes wrong during a vaginal birth, some doctors fear possible lawsuits. As for the patient’s role, more women are now demanding c-sections. So what was once considered to be an emergency procedure seems to be the norm.

There are plenty of women who think recovery from a c-section is no big deal while others find the long recovery period and pain to be unnecessary.  I say do what’s best for you and your baby—just know the benefits and risks of both methods.

Risks Associated with C-Section:

* Higher risk of infection

* Adhesions (painful scar tissue under the skin)

* Pulmonary embolisms (blood clots)

* Complications from the use of anesthesia

* The potential need for future cesareans, which entail additional risk

Source: ACOG

Risks Associated with Vaginal Birth:

* An increased risk for pelvic floor dysfunction

* Increased occurance of incontinence

* An increased risk of vaginal tearing

* Increased complications if baby is not in a head down position

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Current Status: 33 Weeks Pregnant With Twins

You know it’s bad when you’re watching a commercial for the “Pussycat Dolls Workout Video” and you’re tempted to order it. I’m so desperate to get my body back it’s all I can think about. My husband has created a home gym in the basement so he can be on hand when the babies are born. But here’s the thing—he’s just getting more ripped and I’m just getting more rippled and dimpled.

I’ve officially started waddling which makes walking in public a bit amusing. My husband and I went to dinner the other night and when I got up to use the restroom I had to waddle through a crowded bar filled with men in suits. An exercise I would normally have loved-- but this was different. Men looked down at my belly, looked up at me and stepped aside—not in a polite way but more to escape the oncoming monster belly.  In my head I was cussing like a sailor but just too tired to make a fuss.

The hardest part of all of this is the exhaustion. One day I’m conquering the world and the next I’m in bed for hours. I incorrectly assumed that all women who are pregnant with twins get put on bed rest—not true.  My doctor believes I’ll be able to carry my twins all the way to the finish line. Apparently my last pregnancy is a good indicator of how things might go. My son was 10 days late and weighed almost 9-pounds. So the chances of going into pre-term labor during this pregnancy are possible but less likely.

There are plenty of new things I'm discovering during my second pregnancy. I didn’t know that when you’re carrying twins most doctors don’t let you go to 40 weeks. Most will induce at 37 or 38 weeks. Twins tend to develop more problems after 37 weeks.  Technically my due date is March 6^th—so I’m taking bets as we speak.

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There’s often a lot of anxiety surrounding pregnancy weight gain. Some women are more than happy to put on the pounds and others are terrified of the scale. Personally, I dread getting weighed at every doctor’s visit. With my last pregnancy I gained about 30 pounds, which is fairly normal— but I still hated it.

This time things are different. I'm 31 weeks pregnant with twins and I’ve gained 17 pounds. It doesn’t sound like much but my doctor says it’s fine. I don’t need to gain the 35 to 45 pounds that can come with twins.

Here’s the news: There are new pregnancy weight gain guidelines that may make the numbers a little easier to swallow.

Weight guidelines for pregnant women have not been updated in about twenty years. But recent research has lead to the release of new guidelines from the Institute of Medicine .  According to the IOM, the guidelines are based on revised Body Mass Index (BMI) categories and now include guidelines for obese women.

The Guidelines For Weight Gain:

* A woman at a normal weight = 25 to 35 pounds  (BMI of 18.5 to 24.9)

* Underweight women = 28 to 40 pounds (BMI less than 18.5)

* Overweight women = 15 to 25 pounds (BMI of 25 to 29.9)

* Obese women = 11 to 20 pounds (BMI greater than 30)

How much weight did you gain during your pregnancy? Where you able to lose the weight? Let us here from you!

Determine your BMI with this online calculator: www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/.

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Today my son goes back to school-- but now he’s attending the full day program! That means from 8:30 in the morning until 3:30 in the afternoon I’m on my own. This is such a change for me that I’m not sure what to do with myself. Before today my little guy was only in school for 3 hours. In that short three-hour window I had to work, clean the house, do laundry and run errands.  Of course there was no time for myself-- so this should be a breeze right? Wrong?

Against all common sense we have decided to start a kitchen renovation. Yes, about 6 or 7 weeks before I’m expected to give birth to twins. I don’t even have the nursery ready and I’m starting on a kitchen!

In my life of chaos I’ve come to realize that stress keeps me going. Having been a reporter for so many years— living with tight deadlines just makes my blood flow.  The downside—I’m always tired, my legs hurt from standing too much and I’m not resting enough.  But at least now I will have more time to think about taking a break.

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Current Status: 31 Weeks Pregnant

When discussing the state of my 40-year-old body during this twin pregnancy, my husband and I have ultimately decided to give in to nature. These days, our mantra is, “We’ll rebuild the body in 2011.” But, I have just realized the destruction of my ever-expanding temple is not yet over.

Today I discovered three red lines running across my belly button. Because I can only see them in the mirror, I asked my husband to inspect. My first horrifying thought—stretch marks! My husband’s untrained eye could not make a determination. So now, I just have to wait and see if my skin is going to pop—literally.

Of all of the horrible things that have happened to my plump little body, stretch marks seem to be the most devastating. If the marks around my belly button are indeed stretch marks, there’s no way to get rid of them—they’ll be there forever. If I actually regain my bikini body (which I had for only a short period in my life), those ugly little things will be there to remind me that my body will never be perfect—even after a “rebuild.”

No matter how much lifting, sucking, tucking, shaping or shifting I may or may not do, I’ve now gone through enough ups and downs with my body to know that when it’s all over-- I may finally be happy with what I have and what I don't.

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My husband and I always joke that our house is my house, our bedroom is my bedroom and all the money he makes is mine.  The truth is—it’s no joke. My husband is very patient, kind and quite possibly a little scared of me, so he let’s me lay down the law in our (my) house. He dutifully follows the rules set forth by his bossy wife. But when it comes to raising our son, my husband is a major league rule breaker.

My husband always exceeds the limits set on TV time, cookies, and trips to McDonald’s. He’s such a pushover our son already knows he has a sucker for a father. My husband can’t stand to see our son cry or throw a fit—so he either turns on the TV or quiets with a cookie. He’s slow to give a “time-out” and quick to give something to sooth.  I hate policing his parenting but his tactics drive me crazy.

What my husband doesn’t seem to understand is-- giving a child limits and boundaries is not a bad thing. In fact, most of the time our son is with me he respects the rules. If he’s had too many cookies and wants more I tell him he can have something else. There’s no crying, no tantrums, he just says okay.  But he also knows Mama means business.

Children tend to push when they know they can. But when they get older pushy becomes obnoxious or rude. Think, spoiled brat.

When you give children options they learn to make decisions. When you limit TV time, they learn to enjoy so many other things. Sometimes it takes a little more work but your child will be better for it.

The questions remains: Will my husband come around? If he wants to stay in “my” house I’m sure he’ll relent.

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